Fail e-mails for the lulz

I just got home and opened up my e-mail to find an anonymously sent message that reads thus:

(LANGUAGE WARNING)

fuck you you ausi bastardfuck you you ausi bastardfuck you you ausi bastardfuck you you ausi bastard

fuck you you ausi bastardfuck you you ausi bastardfuck you you ausi bastard

fuck you you ausi bastardfuck you you ausi bastardfuck you you ausi bastard

fuck you you ausi bastardfuck you you ausi bastard

fuck you you ausi bastardfuck you you ausi bastardfuck you you ausi bastard

fuck you you ausi bastard

fuck you you ausi bastard

Not only does this loser not have the balls to send a proper e-mail (instead choosing to hide), he also still fails at typing properly. I wonder who this is?

Let me clear up some things while I’m here:

1 ) It’s spelled ‘Aussie’. That’s one count of fail.

2 ) I’m not Australian in the first place. I was born in England. I’m not going to reveal my heritage, but that’s besides the point. That’s two counts of fail.

3 ) I’m not a bastard. I was conceived within wedlock. That’s three counts of fail.

4 ) You should learn how to use your space bar once in a while. That’s four counts of fail.

5 ) You should also learn how to use your comma key. That’s five counts of fail.

6 ) If you attempted to create a wall of text, you failed miserably. That’s six counts of fail.

7 ) If this was supposed to be threatening/annoying, I would have expected more death threats and a larger quantity of e-mails. That’s seven counts of fail.

8 ) Only retards play race cards when throwing insults. That’s eight counts of fail.

9 ) It also occurred to me that you should probably learn how to use your shift key, amongst most of the other buttons on your keyboard. That’s nine counts of fail.

10 ) If you meant ‘bastard’ as in ‘a spiteful/unpleasant male’, then you’d be wrong there too. I do not go out of my way to be unpleasant/spiteful, you just happened to fall across my path being the mouth breathing dumbfuck you are. That’s ten counts of fail.

11 ) I can’t think of anything else to put here, so I’ll just say you fail at life to complete the circle. Full stop.

EDIT: wow, I’m getting more as we speak:

Eat your mother’s shitEat your mother’s shitEat your mother’s shit

Eat your mother’s shitEat your mother’s shitEat your mother’s shit

Eat your mother’s shitEat your mother’s shitEat your mother’s shit

Eat your mother’s shitEat your mother’s shit

Eat your mother’s shitEat your mother’s shit

Eat your mother’s shitEat your mother’s shit

Eat your mother’s shit

Eat your mother’s shit

Eat your mother’s shit

Eat your mother’s shit

At least this time around, he didn’t fail as epically as the first attempt (still needs moar space bar action, though).

EDIT2: oh, another:

Fuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck you

Fuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck you

Fuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck you

Fuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck you

Fuck youFuck youFuck you

Fuck youFuck youFuck you

Fuck youFuck you

Fuck youFuck you

Fuck you

Fuck you

Aren’t we getting bored, yet?