DIARIES OF A Bosnian

Please excuse the use of language used by the author of this original piece – I’ve translated it and tried to keep it intact as much as possible.

DIARY OF A Bosnian – CANADA

12. August

We moved into our new house in Canada. I’m so excited. It’s so nice here. Mountains are beautiful. I can hardly wait to see them covered with snow.

14. October

Canada. It is the most beautiful country in the world. Leaves have changed from those beautiful shades of yellow to orange. I took a  drive through nature then I saw a few deer. They’re so graceful. They are the most beautiful animals in the world. This must be paradise. I love Canada.

11. November

Remembrance Day (Canadian public holiday). Deer hunting season will open soon. I can not imagine how someone could kill such beautiful animals. I hope it snows soon. It’s so wonderful here.

2. December

The first snow fell last night. When I woke up I saw everything coated with a white blanket. It looks so picturesque, like the image of a most beautiful winter postcard. We went out out, cleaned the stairs and access road, and then we had a snowball fight (I won). When the plower went by, we had to clean the gate again. What a wonderful country. I love Canada.

12. December

Tonight, snow again. Again, the plower has buried my gate. It’s so beautiful here.

19. December

Tonight, snow again. I could not get the car free to go to work. This is really wonderful, but I’m getting a little tired of shoveling. Again, with the fucking plower.

22. December

The white shit fell again, and it snowed whole night. I got blisters from shoveling and not to mention a backache. This monkey with the plower is like hiding behind the corner and waiting for me to clean the front gate. Asshole.

25. December

Christmas, I’m not in the spirit for it. Some more of that shitty snow. If I ever get my hands on that fag that drives the plower, I’ll kill him! FFS, why don’t they spray more salt on the road, so this shit would melt faster.

27. December

Tonight, snow again. I haven’t went out for 3 days strait, well except for shoveling the snow whenever the plower goes by. I can’t go anywhere, the car is stuck in a snow hill in front of our gate, and I’m cold. The forecast says to expect another 30 cm of this shit to fall.

28. December

Forecast was wrong. A half of meter fell. If this continues, it will not melt before summer. The plower is stuck and that asshole came to ask me if he could borrow a shovel. I told him that I already broke six shovels cleaning that shit he always buries me in, then I almost lodged the damn shovel at his head.

4. January

Finally came out of the house. Went to the shop to buy some food. When I was returning, I hit a deer. $3000 damage to the car. These vermin should have been killed, every one of them. Why didn’t the hunters exterminate them last fall.

3. May

Drove the car to the mechanic. It’s amazing how much they have rust from the fucking salt they’ve been spraying everywhere.

10. May

I’ve decided – We’re moving to Florida. I can not even imagine how someone normal can live in this shitty Canada…

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4 Responses to DIARIES OF A Bosnian

  1. surdumil says:

    Absolutely hilarious, Duki!

    This post made my day.

  2. i_am_otep says:

    I say AMEN to that damn snow here in Canada!!

  3. kyuubirocks says:

    I nearly fell off my seat reading this, hilarious

  4. samfisher1 says:

    from god to bad to ok to worse. verynice

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