Fail of the Week

We all know how irritating it is trying to communicate with people on forums who don’t type in anything recognisable by speakers of the English language.

There are people who are pleasant to deal with (or at least it’s pleasant to read their posts, even if you may not like what they’ve posted)…

… and then there’s people like this guy:

i was in the army once.sumtimes wish id stayd in.happy times,well mostly anyway.i wud recomend it to any young person for a career.wages arnt too bad now+u get to do alot of crazy shit u wudnt normally do in civvy st.
oh and goin around shootin shit up is always a bonus in a job

my only advice to you if u do join up is definitely get a trade out of it,ie doctor ,nurse ,tech etc.something that will stand u up if u get out early.thats the mistake i made,i cud of done pretty much anyfin but chose to b an infantry soldier,well i was 16 after all (young,dumb,and all that)

dont worry about it.people like that r evry whr.alot of em in the army.alot of abuse goes on u just gota keep ur head down and get on with it.

Even with a bit of prompting to not use ’14 year old girl on phone txt tlk-ese’ when posting on a forum, he doesn’t get the message and tells me:

get fukd,dont read it thn fukn child

Now, what I find most amusing about this is that this guy claims to be in his 30s with a few kids. I feel quite sorry for them having such a worthless moron for a father.

For the record, I’m 19, and I can bet my bottom dollar that I’m far less childish than him.

Following his forum ban, I decided to check his tracker profile just to see if his failure extended beyond use of the English language.

It did.

Insulting staff on a forum is an express ticket to ‘Get fucked and never come back’ on the forum side of things, but having a 0.2 ratio at the time of your ticket being issued means a ‘Fuck off and die’ holiday package will most likely be included.

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25 Responses to Fail of the Week

  1. peebs says:

    I wonder what army in the world accepts 16 year-olds. I think they call them “guerillas” where he comes from.

    On the other hand, he may be a 16 year-old with an ego the size of Texas and too much acne on his face. The only way to prove his manhood is by being a few letters short in his vocabulary. *hiss*

  2. aneroph says:

    Praise be to psyren! I’m surprised he lasted through 43 posts since every one of them was written in the same ridiculous manner.

  3. thedarkoneaox says:

    He was in the army, maybe he’s missing a few fingers…and a few brain cells, well forget it, theres no way to cover up that amount of stupidity, even the CIA couldnt, I guess hiring Jedis, Aizen, and Itachi, nevermind even that wouldnt work… you know what would have been amazingly funny if you wrote owned in ahh whatever you call the text he was using… I still cant figure out how owned = pwned?

  4. psyren says:

    Owned = dominated.
    Pwned = made useless (pronounced ‘pawned’).

  5. I hate to disagree with you psyren, but pwned is still pronounced “owned”, as anyone who has watched the epic show Pure Pwnage would know.

    If links don’t end up working, search for “pure pwnage urban rush”

  6. Arveene says:

    Pure Pwnage was definitely the first place to ever use the words pwned and owned. psyren’s definition is correct as anyone who’s played fps since way before CS would know. =p

  7. Chiyachan says:

    No wonder America is fucked… With people in the army like him…

  8. rebs says:

    Sad story :).

    But about the Owned/Pwned issue, this is my theory:

    As a “gamer” one would have used the term Ownage to express that they dominated another play/players (like psyren said).
    As a new player in an online game one would usually forget to change there display name, which leads to getting the default name, which is uaully “Player”. One could rightfully assume that player is new and that they could “Own” them. Hence the term “Player Ownage”. But to make life easier it is shortend to “Pwn…..”

    Sorry bout the long reply that will be of little use to anyone.

  9. psyren says:

    Chiya: actually, the guy is from England.

  10. Drextan says:

    I honestly don’t see the problem with talking like that, it’s easily understandable (YES it is, just read it out loud if you hvae problems), and it is really faster to type, for example, “r” instead of “are” and “u” instead of “you”…

    Why all the hate? I don’t get it…

  11. psyren says:

    … because it’s a forum. You have:
    Time to check over your message.
    Plenty of space to write your message.
    Access to a spell checker.
    Other people reading your post.

    It may be easily understandable for people who have English as their first language/spend excessive time on their phone. For everyone else, it’s fucking annoying.

  12. Drextan says:

    Yes, you may have time and space etc. but why should people use time on all that, if they can type it ZEH LULZ WAI, and still get their message out to most people? I know VERY MANY people, who have absolutely no problem with neither understanding or writing like that…

    Also, you don’t have to read stuff like that if you don’t want to, it is really your own choice, you can easily skip it if you want…

  13. Duki says:

    Rofl, so my assumptions were correct – that guy was a barrel of laughs thoe…
    With comments like “im 38 got 3 kidz married fought for my country and done more shit wiv my life than u obviously silva spoond twats will eva do.” you can even imagine him of having a British accent…

    But when a week of fail comes it really comes, I’d nominate yuvi for 2. place… But he at least took his suspension without complaints

  14. Chiyachan says:

    Give me an address. I’ll go teach him how to respect the internet.

  15. Duki says:

    @ Drextan – when you are warned by a mod you should comply and follow forum rules… Occasional txt type is not frowned upon, but if your whole messages are txt tlk that usually is…

    He was asked nicely by other users, then not so nicely, then Psyren – and his replies were mostly insults… He got what he deserved…

  16. Drextan says:

    I understand why you banned that guy, I have no problems with that, I just don’t see why your against people writing like that… ^^

    You don’t want people to write like that because you think it’s annoying? Isn’t that a little selfish? =/

  17. psyren says:

    If you like it so much, then why don’t you type like that?

    Oh, that’s right… BECAUSE IT’S STUPID.

  18. Drextan says:

    It write the way the people I write with write, some of my friends type txt tlk way, I answer them that way, you type the normal way, I type the normal way…

    It’s not like I prefer one type of writing over the other… ^^

  19. psyren says:

    Oh, fair enough.

  20. Duki says:

    @ Drextan – If it’s said so in the rules to use proper english it should be followed. Why does it bother me as much – well it doesn’t as much – but somewhat – when you have a big multinational community such as this one is that sort of tlk can be confusing to those who have a bit poorer knowledge of English…

    That’s exactly why that rule stands for… If you can’t use proper english than there is no reason for you to be an active member…

  21. Phaedris says:

    @ Drextan – I disagree with you about the speed difference between txt type and normal English, anyone with any level of typing proficiency will type “you” nearly as quickly as “u”.
    I personally dislike “txt type” in forums because theres no need for it maybe in instant messenger or a game something like that then it’s ok.
    Also if you don’t take the time to type out your forum posts then why should people take the time to read them?

  22. If I can’t read something easily, then I don’t read it at all. The most common culprits are horrendous spelling and blocks of text.

    You have to realize that the internet has lead to a proliferation of information. Most people don’t have anything to say that I care that much about, and thus, if they require me to spend too much effort trying to make out what they’re saying, I’ll just read what one of the billions of other people has to say, instead.

  23. kureshii says:

    Drex, shrt-frm msgg meb accptbl for SMS, IRC n othr mdms tt prize fast n short comms, but on a forum it isn’t acceptable (unless forum staff say otherwise).

    On a forum you are not rushed for time, you are (usually) allowed to edit your posts, and you have the benefit of a spellchecker if you’re using a browser that supports them. Spelling and grammar do not need to be perfect but they do need to be non-eyecancerish.

    Use the right form of communication for the right medium of communication. On IRC or in text messages, use whatever you like. On forums, let’s have some semblance of language please.

    For the record, that “txt-type” segment at the start of my comment took as much time to type as the rest of the comment >_>

  24. Drextan says:


    You got me… ^^

  25. adighraiz says:

    I Agree With Anyone Use The Normal English,I Don’t Say That You Should Use English Grammar “Because I Can’t 🙁 ” As Example My Native Language Is Arabic And Am Pretty Sure If I Use My Broken Spelling Or Our Way In Using English No One Well Understand Nor Me 😛
    I Don’t Understand Half Of The Shorthand Word,But I Think A Little And Finale Get The Core Point.
    In My Opinion I Prefer Simple Language And Clean Comment Like Mine :P~

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