I just got home and opened up my e-mail to find an anonymously sent message that reads thus:

(LANGUAGE WARNING)

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Woo. First post. So Chiya came and pestered me about posting, and just when I was thinking of what to put, this guy joins #box-support. My blog post came right to me.

You’ll see our log of it in a bit, but first a small synopsis, because the log is f*cking long. As Arveene said:

Dumb user avoid bans comes into support channel to request donations through EU only payment site only to get his account noticed for ban evasion and stat hacking.

Of course, we do have a no lurking rule in #box-support, so don’t you come lurking. Lurk in #boxtorrents instead. Below is the log of our new fail.
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We all know how irritating it is trying to communicate with people on forums who don’t type in anything recognisable by speakers of the English language.

There are people who are pleasant to deal with (or at least it’s pleasant to read their posts, even if you may not like what they’ve posted)…

… and then there’s people like this guy:

i was in the army once.sumtimes wish id stayd in.happy times,well mostly anyway.i wud recomend it to any young person for a career.wages arnt too bad now+u get to do alot of crazy shit u wudnt normally do in civvy st.
oh and goin around shootin shit up is always a bonus in a job profile.lol

…

my only advice to you if u do join up is definitely get a trade out of it,ie doctor ,nurse ,tech etc.something that will stand u up if u get out early.thats the mistake i made,i cud of done pretty much anyfin but chose to b an infantry soldier,well i was 16 after all (young,dumb,and all that)

…

dont worry about it.people like that r evry whr.alot of em in the army.alot of abuse goes on u just gota keep ur head down and get on with it.

Even with a bit of prompting to not use ’14 year old girl on phone txt tlk-ese’ when posting on a forum, he doesn’t get the message and tells me:

get fukd,dont read it thn fukn child

Now, what I find most amusing about this is that this guy claims to be in his 30s with a few kids. I feel quite sorry for them having such a worthless moron for a father.

For the record, I’m 19, and I can bet my bottom dollar that I’m far less childish than him.

Following his forum ban, I decided to check his tracker profile just to see if his failure extended beyond use of the English language.

It did.

Insulting staff on a forum is an express ticket to ‘Get fucked and never come back’ on the forum side of things, but having a 0.2 ratio at the time of your ticket being issued means a ‘Fuck off and die’ holiday package will most likely be included.

The user in question from the previous blog post (the one who questioned mods’ competence) was given a one week warning (not by me), and is unofficially barred from ever adopting torrents (“Hi there, I’ll adopt this torrent, but I won’t fix it because that would mean I’d have to do some work”). Adopter blacklist is in progress.

Yet, he still keeps trying again and again to request ownership of the same torrents.

You’d have thought even someone as stupid/dickheaded as him would have got the message to fuck off by now, but this guy just takes the cake.

EDIT: he’s still trying.

Subject: (no subject)

i no longer have any of these what am i to do now?

I can’t say I have absolutely no idea what he’s asking, but I can’t give a helpful, clear response until I’m sure of his situation (assuming too much isn’t a good thing). So learn from this and don’t do it to other staff members (on Boxtorrents or other sites) as well 😉

Heck, don’t even do it to anyone, staff member or not.

“Hi there, my upload was at over 300GB a week ago. Recently it has been changed to 23.77GB. I was thinking it might be a system error.

Thanks“

Since that question has been answered by another staff member already I didn’t give a reply, but if I did it would probably be along the lines of “Well, your download was at over 1.5TB a week ago too, so there’s no change to your ratio anyway. Seed more. And stop multi-accounting.”

From the logs of #box-support (edited for privacy, brevity and to remove posts from annoying side characters). We don’t usually post stories from the IRC support channel, but this was just too funny to pass up.

Spelling and grammar have not been edited, but before you start harping on the low standards of language used, remember that this exchange occurred on IRC and nobody cares much about that stuff.

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